Do I stay or do I go now?

On January 30th we made the difficult decision for me to leave Cairo. It was difficult for several reasons:

1. We both know that the decision to move to an authorized, and now ordered, departure status is a complicated and expensive one for the government. But the decision to lift this status and allow those who left to return is even more complicated and delicate, therefore taking longer. We wont be allowed back until the government is sure they can provide for our safety, including food, water and other basic life essentials. They can't afford to evacuate us again.
2. Cairo is our home. Our life is in Cairo, my husband, our friends, our jobs...our life. I am profoundly grateful for the love and support from all of our friends and family in the U.S. You guys know how much you mean to us and feeling the wagons circle around us is phenomenal. I am so lucky that I have an amazing family and group of friends who have all offered us endless support. Even with all of that, it is still hard to leave our life together.
3. My school had not closed by the time I made the decision to leave. I know that may seem like a small matter from the clear light of day, but leaving my colleagues and friends behind who were at the mercy of the school was incredibly difficult. At times like this you draw back to your core group. There are a group of us who have become quite close since we all started this school year off together as newbies. Being separated from them and knowing that they were still waiting for school to make a call felt wrong.
4. Looking out of our apartment window, things didn't seem that bad. I know when I describe the boabs (doormen) and other men in the neighborhood patrolling our street with clubs & crowbars, military tanks rolling in and occasional gun fire at the end of our street you will think I am crazy for saying it "wasn't that bad". I suppose that one's mind compartmentalizes these things and compares them to the events taking place in Tahrir Sq. and ranks them. All I can say is that I felt safe in my apartment. It's tough to leave, knowing the ramifications of that decisions, when you look out your window and see this:
   

In the end, I left the call to Seth. I trust him completely and I know that he has information I don't have. No matter what other rumors are milling about, when he says "Go." I go. This isn't about what I want. This is about what is the best decision for our team: him and I.

Two days later it turns out we made the right decision as the embassy went to an ordered departure, which means I would have had no choice. By leaving when I did I made the entire trip with my dear friends and their children rather than alone with thousands of strangers. Good call Seth.