Advice by Alan

I've decided to add a recurring feature to our blog, Advice by Alan.

Alan is the security guard at my office. He speaks little English but that hasn't kept us from becoming friends. We communicate with a mixture of the English he knows, the little Georgian and Russian that I know, a healthy dose of charades and a bit of Pictionary. Each morning I can count on a walk-in from Alan. He pops into my office, we exchange "Good mornings" and "How are yous" in Georgian (which is closing in on the extent of my knowledge of the language) and he quickly launches into a one sided conversation in a mixture of Russian and Georgian.

During our "conversations" my eyes work harder than my ears. I am constantly watching his facial expression and his hands as he expresses his story. Alan's stories often evolve into advice giving sessions. Alan's advice ranges from cancer prevention to the best accompaniments for vodka. From how to make your plants grow to the uses of the common house cat in curing your bodily aches and pains.  I realized that I have been selfishly keeping his advice to myself, but that stops today.

Advice by Alan #1: Mobile phone antennae cause cancer

Recently Alan came into my office to chat when he noticed my cell phone sitting on my desk. He pointed to the phone and shook his head. "Your phone, wery old," he said. (This would be the phone I bought before we moved to T'bilisi in August 2007) He continued by pointing at the antenna of my phone and then gesturing at the side of his stomach, his hands slowly moving away from his body. I shook my head indicating that I didn't quite follow.

He went on to tell me a story about the time he and a friend were drinking vodka one night. Judging by the way he was moving his hand to his lips and repeatedly tilting his head back I'm going to say they were doing shots of vodka. All of a sudden his friend grabbed his heart in pain and told Alan that his chest hurt. At that moment Alan realized that his friend was carrying his cell phone in the front pocket of his shirt. Alan removed it and the pain subsided. Alan looked down and noticed that his friend's cell phone had an external antenna. Proof positive that "cell phones with external antennas cause cancer."

I asked Alan if it was possible that perhaps the nights of vodka shots played a role in his friends chest pains. He assured me that this was, in fact, ludicrous. So, for all of you out there with old cell phones that have external antenna, take it from Alan, it's time to upgrade. As long as your antenna is internal, your safe!

A Cyclocross Bike is not a Mountain Bike

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Originally uploaded by SethTri

... but it's close. There has been a TDYer here who actually brought a mountain bike with him for the last month or so and I was easily convinced to get out on a ride with him. I managed to put the knobbies on the cyclocross bike that for far too long has sat on the trainer and ride with him 3 times now.
For those who aren't aware: a cyclocross bike is effectively a road frame (toughened up a bit) with wider, but certainly not wide knobby tires. There is no suspension like a mountain bike has, the tires are significantly narrower than mtn bikes, and I don't have mountain bike pedals (yet) on it.


I've been out 3 times now with him and the first 2 times I was doing pretty awesome. Despite the much harder gearing I'm running than the mountain bikers, I've made it up almost all the stuff 2 guys out here could get up. Going down is a little sketchier though -- it's much more of a technique challenge that I can't transfer from road riding, and since I have no suspension, every rock puts me in the air. But I've made it down most of the stuff, though usually significantly slower and conservative than the downhill mountain bikers.


Now for the fun part:


We've been riding the same areas that Meg & I have been running for quite a while. I can see the Embassy from the ridgeline, and I've long thought it might be possible to make the traverse over. (Though it looks like it's at least 5 miles.) So, on Saturday, three of us attempted the ride.


Boys and Girls, learn from my mistakes: A cyclocross bike is NOT a mountain bike.


So we got our normal ride in, and that worked out pretty good. Then we headed up to the saddle that has a road coming off it that leads down into the valley we wanted to go. Ohhh... it seemed like such a good idea at the time, and it looked like I could have used it to commute to work eventually.




Not quite. It starts out a pretty steep downhill, big loose rocks filled in with scree and a big rut that wanders all over this "jeep trail", that even a Jeep would be very challenged to get up. And then it got steeper, and sketchier. I was pretty gripped and eventually kicked out of the pedals and kinda shuffled down. It got rideable again, and we continued down, but then the road disappeared into a washed out thin trail. Well down we go (and out of my road pedals again).


And then the trail ran into a foot deep creek with big rocks on the bottom. This bike would have had a tough time with the creek bed WITHOUT water in it. Ok, so I'm walking it, but now I'm trying to walk across this creek with my road shoes and cleats on. Yeah, that won't work, so off come the socks and shoes as I walk through water that smells a bit like manure. (At least there probably aren't any other chemicals in here.)




But once across the creek, we were on a dirt road (a real dirt road!) and worked our way through dilapidated buildings of the lower-middle class parts of Tbilisi. A few dead ends later we popped out on the streets of diplomatic heights and Meg came by and rescued us from having to return by either the same route or by the very busy roads of downtown Tbilisi.


Alright, so maybe I'll consider getting a suspension on the bike. Maybe. We'll see.